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Change Your Perceptions on Stress and Change Your Wellbeing

It’s well known that high stress levels can lead to a range of physical, mental and emotional symptoms and illnesses. From chronic headaches, sleep disturbances, gastrointestinal problems to feelings of anxiety, lethargy and depression – to name a few. Chronic stress can also impact cognitive skills such as judgment, critical thinking, problem-solving and creativity. Overall, we tend to think of stress as something bad and to be mitigated at all costs.

Kelly McGonical, a health psychologist and author says otherwise. McGonigal has found that “the harmful effects of stress on health are not inevitable.” In her Ted Talk, How to Make Stress Your Friend, McGonical states that our beliefs about stress have a direct impact on how we experience stress in our bodies. She found that there are multiple ways for stress to be experienced in the body.

Most of us are familiar with the Fight or Flight response – the one we experience when we perceive something to be a danger or threat to us. This response is useful if we need to boost our attention and focus, and also may support strength and endurance should we need to flee. However, also available to us are the challenge response and the tend and befriend response. These responses create resilience and are more productive and healthier for us.

  • The challenge response is about taking action. This response helps to increase self-confidence and supports motivation and learning in the process.
  • The tend and befriend response is about reaching out and asking for help; connecting with someone, sharing, helping someone else. This response increases courage and strengthens social connections, which positively impacts our health as human connection is one of the biggest contributors to wellbeing.

Our perception of stress has been shown (Crum, Salovey and Achor, 2013) to influence our longevity, physical health and resilience.

Next time you feel stressed you can ask yourself: Which stress response would be most useful to me in this moment? Do I need to fight or back off (danger)? Or do I need focus and energy for an upcoming challenge such as a presentation or difficult meeting? Or perhaps the question is do I require courage to ask for support?

Marla Warner

Marla Warner is a speaker, consultant and coach who focuses on resilience, well-being, and supporting organizations and individuals to flourish. She has been creating and developing workshops and training programs for over 25 years in public, private, academic and health-care sectors. Marla is a Certified Positive Psychology Coach, a Certified practitioner in Applied Positive Psychology, she holds a B.SC. in Kinesiology, and brings extensive background and experience in Applied Mindfulness practices.